10 Truths I Learned About Grief

At some point in our lives, we will be touched by grief. These are just a few things I've learned on my path through grief. I hope this helps anyone who is hurting. Remember, you can never take too many pictures with those you love, give too many hugs, or spend too much time with them. Life is so short, so cherish the little moments.

1. You don't have to move on, just move forward

When you get hit with a loss or some kind of grievance, we first attempt to overcome it. This can be a difficult task. I watched a video that, to paraphrase, described the best way through grief is by moving forward with that person's memory. You're going to carry them with you for the rest of your life, but it can turn out to be a good thing. Thinking of all the good memories and letting that light reflect through you, that's the best way to honor their memory.

2. It's okay to take time for yourself

You feel grief emotionally, mentally, and physically. Grief is an exhausting experience and it's okay to take time for yourself. Unplugging from social media for a few hours a day to focus on your own self care is important. It's okay to turn friends down on a hard day for you. By taking care of yourself, you're better able to take care of others.

3. You'll be heartbroken

Heartbreaks aren't isolated to romantic relationships. When you love and you lose, it hurts.

4. It's okay to cry

If you're anything like me, crying is something you hide. Crying makes me feel weak. However, through grief, I have learned that it's anything but weak. It shows that you were strong enough to love someone with the knowledge that you could lose them. Crying helps with the healing process, so don't be afraid to cry every once in a while.

5. Those we love, never truly leave us

This is one truth that I have heard numerous times before and it still holds true. When someone significantly impacts your life, their memory stays with you forever. You'll see things online and want to send it to them. You'll see things at stores and want to get it for them. Everything about who they were is molded into you, until the very end.

6. The five steps of grief are more like guidelines

There is no time frame to healing. You'll feel the five stages backwards, forwards, out of order; there truly is no right order. They're simply there as a way to prepare people for hardships like loss.

7. Everyone grieves in their own way, and that's okay

There really is no right way to grieve (as long as it doesn't harm yourself or anyone else). Some people are louder about their grief, more open. Others are more quiet, more internal about expressing themselves. Whether you're upfront about it or not is entirely up to you. What's important is that you're honest about your feelings and take the time to take care of yourself and those around you.

8. Don't isolate yourself

It's difficult to turn to people when you're hurting. For me, personally, I am guilty of constantly isolating myself to prevent burdening others with my problems. However, it's counterproductive. It hurts not only you, but them. Relationships drift apart and you begin to lose beneficial social skills as you adapt to a more recluse lifestyle. Don't be afraid to turn to someone you trust and confide in them.

9. It's okay to feel happy

It's so easy to feel guilty for being happy. That guilt isn't necessary though. Those who have left us would never want to be that cause of our unhappiness and would want us to live happily and fully.

10. Grief comes in waves

There are days where you feel like life is finally getting back to normal. And then there are days when it feels like you're hit in the chest with a brick. This is just the process of grieving. Some days you're hit harder. The important part is to keep pushing forward.