Figuring out who you are in a world where identity is everything.

What do you want to be when you grow up? My young eyes stare up at every adult who should have known, no matter my age, no one ever has an honest answer to this question. No one truly ever has life figured out. We go through the motions and take the successes and curse the losses. We change, our interests change, and our dreams change. A constant flow of shifts that occur as we experience life.

Maybe I was supposed to say a nurse, or a teacher, or an unstoppable lawyer. Of course, all of these are valid and respectable answers, but in truth, I only ever dreamed of living. For me, life was made for creating art, exploring the world, and spreading positivity in the world around me.

Despite this feeling, I followed the path of traditional schooling in hopes of fulfilling the modern outlook on life. I took my internal need to help others and decided to strive to become a psychologist, helping people through their lowest points in life. I studied hard and enjoyed the courses, but something felt off. Throughout my college career, despite positive experiences and the privilege of education, I was always left feeling unfulfilled. I finally had to sit down and ask myself what I wanted my life to look like for the rest of my life, because at the end of the day, I was the only person who had to live 100% of my life so I needed to make it something I wouldn't dread living every day. When I envisioned being stationed to an office, holding the same monotonous routine, it didn't fit the vision of who I wanted to be. I respected the people whose vision of life did fit that, it was solid and honorable. But it just wasn't me. So, I had to ask myself who I was in the moment and who I wanted to be. I had to make those answers match.

Despite finishing my degree, I turned from the path of becoming a psychologist and began focusing on art. On travel and educating myself by experiencing the world around me, firsthand. On educating others of what I learn. On helping them heal and grow into the most balanced and grounded versions of themselves. I focused on living outside of my comfort zone. This switch was scary and I'm still growing through it.

So, what does it look like when you reach that point where you're questioning your place or purpose in life? When you're not quite sure who you are? When you're questioning who you want to be?

Maybe you've walked past a mirror and not recognized the person staring back at you. It's not abnormal to reach a point where you don't feel like yourself, where you don't connect with the person that you used to be. Maybe you don't even connect with the people or home around you anymore. If this happens, it's important to decide if this disconnect is triggered by outside stressors or personal growth.

Sometimes when we experience discomfort in life, it's easy to turn that inwards and think it has everything to do with ourselves and nothing to do with the external world around us. We'll change our hair, our bodies may change, our moods can become turmoil. Because of this, we feel different than what we're used to. While sometimes those changes aren't for the best, other times, they can feel uncomfortable in the moment. Long term, this uncomfortable change is the catalyst we needed in order to grow into who we were meant to be. Sometimes we need to focus on those outside stressors and take the time to resolve them in order to get back to connecting with ourselves.

On the other hand, sometimes that disconnect stems from personal growth, and it is mostly internal. It's fairly apparent to recognize this as growth when you look at your outside world and not much has changed, but you feel and think differently than your past self. This is a sign that we've outgrown who we once were. We can outgrow people, places, and situations, as well. Some things are truly just for a season and it's important to be grateful for the memories and lessons they may have brought you, but also recognize when it's time to let it all go.

When we come to this realization and take the necessary steps to move forward towards what aligns with us more, we better connect with ourselves and our life path. The biggest sign that you're on the right path is a comfortable discomfort. It shouldn't drain you or feel negative, but it may scare you and excite you. If you trust your gut and let it take you where you're meant to go, it should leave you with an internal peace once you fully connect with your new self.

I think the secret to figuring out who you are is to accept the fact that we are constantly learning, which forces us to grow and change. To not be afraid to try new things and take leaps of faith that can transform us.

I think it's also important to let go of this notion that we have to have everything figured out and defined in our lives in order to experience happiness and success. Success looks different for each individual person, happiness is experienced differently, and it adds an unnecessary pressure to life when we force ourselves to discover purpose rather than just letting our purpose find us. Trying to force ourselves into a box so that we can better define ourselves, it forces limits on who we can be.

So, don't be afraid to ask yourself what you want in life. Ask yourself if you're happy with where you're at, if there are aspects of your life that need changed. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and expand your knowledge. Don't be afraid to live and let life define you along the way.