The reality of college...

With having experienced all of the highs and lows college can bring, I wanted to be able to share my experience in hopes of bringing some peace to any incoming college students who may be feeling a little bit anxious about their new experience.

To start, I would like to highlight that college is not for everyone, and that is completely fine. I feel that a lot of people end up being hard on themselves for choosing to opt out of college and that self-doubt really isn't necessary. College is a huge financial and mental investment. It's a lot of late-night studying, weird eating schedules, and long lectures. For some, that type of lifestyle for a few years is worth it in order to go further in their dream career. For others, it doesn't suit them and they're happier forming college-free careers in art, music, welding, content creation, entrepreneurship... the options are endless, and you have to choose what is best for you. Especially because at the end of the day, no one has to live your life but you.

From my experience, I was a person that enjoyed college much more than high school. I loved the freedom it brought, the less strenuous class schedule, and the amazing memories I was able to make alongside some even more amazing people. I thankfully had just as amazing of friends and teachers in college as I did in high school, but I do feel like college was the first time I could fully be myself. And when you're able to grow into who you're truly meant to be, there is no greater inner peace than that. In order to become this new version of myself, there were a few things I needed to learn.

For starters, I needed to get comfortable with being alone. There were times that studying needed to be done alone, meals needed to be ate alone, and activities needed to be done by myself. There is so many people you can befriend, but they also have to live their lives. So, times when they're busy, you may have to do things alone. I'll be honest, there were points in the first few semesters, especially in the winter months, where depression seemed to hit everyone. You get homesick. But, learning to persevere despite that and find ways to make your own fun can really help with that. My friends and I would have movie nights, go on hikes, play stupid games. In the end, we were each other's biggest support systems, and I will be forever grateful for them.

The next thing I needed to learn was how to ask for help. This sounds heavier than it is. But simply, if you need something, ask. If you're not understanding the class material, talk to your professor. If they aren't explaining it in a way that you can understand, reach out to a tutor or teaching assistant. If you can't find a classroom, ask a random professor or older student who has probably walked those buildings countless times. If you want to know about internship opportunities, send an email to a faculty member. Talking to strangers can sound terrifying but majority of the time, they're willing to help lead you in the right direction and you could gain a friendly connection out of this. On the other hand, this mindset can be geared towards the heavier side of asking for help. If you're not doing well mentally because you're homesick, just going through a lot, or stressed, you can absolutely reach out to friends, family, or even a trusted faculty member. Most college campuses have some type of psychological services for students where they can seek mental health assistance; no matter how small or big your problem seems.

Another thing is learning how to put yourself out there. You don't need to befriend everyone (unless you want to) BUT sometimes if you want friends, you have to be willing to approach others and make the first move. You'd be amazed at what can happen. For example, I joined my school's dodgeball team. Did I ever think prior going to college I would join a dodgeball team? Absolutely not. Do I regret it? Not a chance. For me, it was the welcoming and vibrant energy of the people on that team that made me stay and less the activity itself. Something as simple as dodgeball brought me so many memories and some amazing friends. There's so much life to live and college is a perfect opportunity to experience a lot of life.

A final thing I needed to learn was when to take a break. I feel like when you get in academic mode, it's hard to know when to stop. But just like a machine, you will need to refuel at some point. College is, in my mind, a bit of a step before real "adulting" begins. It is the perfect time to gain professional skills and more mature mindsets, but also to let your inner child out. So, make mistakes, dream big, fail, and try again. Be diligent in your studies but don't forget to make memories along the way.

After learning these lessons, I was able to have an enjoyable college experience while still being successful in it. Along the way, I learned a few other important details that I wish somebody would have told me before going off to school.

1. It's okay if your grades in college look different than your high school grades

Whether for better or worse, your grades may not look identical to those in high school. If you're used to getting straight A's and in college you don't, it's okay. College is tough and passing is the MOST important thing, not the letter grade. If your grades look better than high school, that's great too!

2. It's okay to change your major

You don't need to have your life figured out by 18. You don't even need to have it figured out by 50. There are so many careers out there, some you may have never been exposed to so finding the right one for you may take time. It's not uncommon for students to change their major partway through their college career. For example, if you are going for nursing and decide a semester in you have a passion for fashion design, go for it. It's not going to set you back. What sets people back is following expectations, not dreams.

3. Do extensive research on your dream career

Going into college, I chose to study Psychology because I love helping others. In the beginning, I loved it, and I still do! But a promising job outlook turned less so when I figured out, for my specific career, success mainly came after also completing grad school. I had failed to research this early on and was left with a decision my last few semesters of whether I wanted to continue to grad school or try something new. For me, grad school wasn't something I wanted to do at that moment, so I decided to come back to it in the future, and for now focus on something I am much more passionate about which is art! More specifically, writing.

This is not to deter anyone from going for Psychology or college in general, as I absolutely love this field and would still love to do something with it later on. However, it's just a friendly hint to make sure you know ALL of the steps for the position you want and make sure it's what you want to do.

4. Search for internship/job shadowing opportunities

As soon as you can, look for internship opportunities in the field you are interested in. Having that experience will help you down the road when you are actively job-hunting post-undergrad. It will also give you valuable experience and skills that you can't always find in a classroom setting.

5. You don't have to party if you don't want to

At the end of the day, you're paying for an education, not for the parties. This is aimed at the people who either feel pressured to go or feel lame for not going. It's genuinely okay if you don't, you aren't the only one, and you can make your own fun.

Overall, college is a great experience, especially if you make it a great experience. It is a few years of your life that fly by, so you really have to make the most of it and enjoy every moment.